WORDS FOR APPROACHING RINGING IN 2013

Have you ever had a surreal moment that is quite uncomfortable but you realize the moment is actually exactly as it should be? I had one of these a couple of weeks ago. Last May, I joined Toastmasters so I could get more comfortable giving presentations and speaking spontaneously to groups. It's been a wonderful experience and I highly recommend it.

Created with
Doodle Buddy for iPad

On our regularly weekly meeting at noon a couple of weeks ago, I was scheduled to give my third speech in our Competent Communicator Manual about why anyone should take up writing practice. As I walked toward the meeting place, I noticed several small herds of familiar-looking people and I thought, "Oh yeah, it's probably my former employer's holiday luncheon." It wasn't until I left the stairs up to the second floor that I realized they were having their luncheon at the Toastmasters meeting place. I didn't want to be there. I've heard almost nothing from them (except from one still there and another who since also left), and they told me they would hire me freelance but they never did, without informing me of their change of plans. So, as a whole, I don't have the warmest and fuzziest feelings toward the place.

After managing to avoid most of them and while sitting waiting for the meeting to start, something amazing occurred to me. I was more among true friends who cared about me as a person in my Toastmasters meeting with people I'd seen not even weekly since May than I ever was sitting next door having lunch with people I'd worked with for years. My fellow Toastmasters care more about me, my personal development, and my personal improvement - and do it in a more caring way - than anyone (except perhaps well less than a handful) ever did there.

In all fairness, they or it, my former employer as a whole, are not entirely to blame. I also realized while waiting for the meeting that I never really gave them a reason to care about me as a person, because I didn't really care about them either. I was there to do a job and, back then, I didn't see the advantage of personal relationships. Except for a couple of people who were brave enough and wonderful enough to talk to me first, I never really talked to anyone about myself or themselves. I got to work, hit the ground running, did my job, and I went home. Knowing then what I know now, I still don't think I would participate in chit-chat when there is work to be done, but I think maybe I'd make more of an effort to get to really know more people.

Another thing I've suspected but was firmly cemented in my beliefs while waiting was that my former employer actually did me a favor by doing what they did (or didn't) do. If they'd have done what they said they would do, I would still be stuck back in that life. In a way, they forced me to leap into doing what I've always known deep down in my heart was what I wanted to do, but was too afraid to try to do it: to build a life writing and helping people say what they want to say. Without that push, I would not be who or where I am today. I would still be a robot, not fully realizing and being too timid to follow my passion of writing. So I thank them.

As I think forward to 2013, I can see the clear path my life has followed up to this point. And it feels right; it feels it is as it should be. And I will keep on the path - becoming even more of the real person I am; forming real relationships that will last beyond circumstances; and being at peace with what I'm doing with my life, hopeful, and engaged.

Happy New Year!

From The Wordsy Woman

ADVENTURES IN CREATIVE WRITING - WEEK SIX

The bulk of the Center for Active Seniors, Inc. and Midwest Writing Center series of creative writing classes is over. The first three weeks we covered creative writing basics: getting into a writing practice, types of creative writing, and creative writing elements such as energy, insight, etc.

This past few weeks I enjoyed a nice break while speakers took over for me. December 4th, Lilly Setterdahl, author of sixteen books including two historical novels talked about nonfiction. Lilly shared her fascinating life story of growing up in Sweden after World War II. We learned when writing a memoir, it's helpful to group stories by subject rather than chronologically, include everything you remember, and insert pictures wherever possible. We also learned all of us have interesting stories which can be learned from, even if they are just shared with family members and future generations.

On December 11th, Dick Stahl joined us to talk about poetry. Many of his poems are autobiographical and we were encouraged to look inside ourselves and our own memories for poetry. Dick made experiencing poetry accessible and writing poetry less mythical. He shared many insights into poetry through others' quotes, including Roald Tweet's telling, "What?    Of course." If someone says this after reading a poem, the work has done its job. Dick also used fortune cookies to do a fun poetry prompt with us; I am definitely stealing that idea.

This week, Jon Riplinger, retired English teacher and author of several young adult novels joined us to talk about fiction. Jon shared his journey through finding an agent, getting published, having the agent drop his genre, finding a new agent, finding a new publisher, having the publisher go bankrupt, and finding another publisher. And dozens of revisions. He showed us that novel writing is not an easy or quick process but if you love the process, as he does, it is still worthwhile.

After a holiday break, we'll meet again to talk about editing, revision, and the publication process. I've enjoyed leading the class even more than I thought I would. And along with the attendees, I've immensely enjoyed our guests. I'm looking forward to a new session starting in February and I'm hoping to tweak it enough with more in-class writing that the current participants will be back.

Happy Holidays!

From The Wordsy Woman

CHRISTMAS WORDS ALL YEAR LONG

My husband's and my favorite Christmas movie of all time has to be National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. The movie has a humorous premise that rings true; but what I laugh at the hardest are the words. We quote several parts of the movie the entire year. It's not just the words, though, but the delivery. Because even though we know it so well we could probably recite the entire movie, we still wait in anticipation for those favorite words to come up. And when they do, we laugh hysterically.

And here are our top five favorites:

Just after Cousin Eddie arrives and Clark says, "I couldn't be more surprised if I woke up tomorrow with my head sewed to the carpet."

After Clark crashes into the Walmart, Eddie points and says, "Bingo!"

We crack up at that whole sequence where Clark says if anyone is looking for any last minute Christmas gifts to get him, they could bring his boss so he can "tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is!" but what we quote all year is "Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"

After the  big blow up and the grandparents are getting ready to leave and Clark says, "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f#@%ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."

And, finally, my personal favorite is when Clark says, "Look around you, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!"

Happy Holidays!
From The Wordsy Woman

COMMA SUTRA - POSITION THREE

Position Three of the Comma Sutra addresses the commas which should occur between two, three, or more (though I wouldn't recommend too many more) independent clauses in sentences. Usually these independent clauses are connected by and, but, or or one of their siblings of nor, for, so, and yet. Or and nor bring up their own whole other issues - either, or and neither, nor - but that isn't really about commas, so we'll table the discussion for now.

Unless your sentence contains short independent clauses, you should use a comma before the and, etc. (the coordinating conjunctions) to, according to Diana Hacker in A Pocket Style Manual (5th Ed.) "tell readers that one independent clause has come to a close and that another is about to begin" (p. 58). As Ms. Hacker warns, this rule only applies to independent clauses.

Here are a couple of examples from Missing Emily: Croatian Life Letters:

Two short independent clauses where a comma is not necessary:

"I think she likes Mate but I am not worried."

Longer independent clauses with a comma:

"I have not known what I should write to you, but I will try to answer the questions in your last letter."

How do you know if your clauses are independent and whether they are short enough to omit the comma? You guessed it: read the work out loud. Read the clauses as their own sentences - such as "I think she likes Mate," and, "I am not worried." If they make sense as standalone sentences, they are independent. To determine if the length of the clauses requires a comma, read the sentence out loud. If the meaning is clear, you can leave the comma out. If the meaning is confusing or, if by the time you finish the sentence, you are lost and don't remember what the first part of the sentence said, you probably need a comma.

As with Positions One and Two of the Comma Sutra, this one has a degree of ambiguity, and it is open to varying subjective interpretations. What's the bottom line according to the Wordsy Woman? Seek out every coordinating conjunction and multi-clause sentence in your writing and question it. Make an informed, purposeful choice - comma or no comma - and go with it. Others may disagree, but you'll have your thought-out reasons with which to defend yourself.

Source:     Hacker, D. (2009). A Pocket Style Manual, 5th Ed. Bedford/St. Martin's: Boston/New York.

GO FORTH AND EDIT

I'm an obsessive editor. I didn't say I'm a perfect editor; I'm just obsessed about editing. Or more exactly, proofreading. You see, I make a lot of typos. A LOT. Seriously, the best things ever invented were the backspace and delete keys. My typing fingers just have minds of their own - or maybe they are just faster than my brain. They just get going and they get so far ahead that they start to make mistakes, stumbling over each other. I have been able to train them a bit over the years, though. Sometimes they just tap the backspace key before I've even realized I made a mistake.

I suppose the obsession started in college. I learned to proofread everything because a well crafted sentence may just be the one thing that sets you apart and earns you that higher grade. I started proofreading my emails when I started to work as a legal secretary in DeKalb, Illinois. The boss gently suggested one day I might want to proofread my emails before I sent them out. The thought, somehow, had never occurred to me before. This is when email was just getting started. I'd sent handwritten or even typed letters and wouldn't have thought of stamping them and throwing them in the mailbox without reading them first - but email? Go figure. But I did it and I realized, "Wow, I'm a typomaniac." So I started proofreading all of my emails. When I became a paralegal, I continued. In a law firm, the appearance of meticulous accuracy is of utmost importance, so, naturally, you want that to trickle through down to every last email.

So it became a habit. I proofread work emails, home emails, and emails to myself. I'm not saying they never get through without a single mistake but they do get through with a lot less than if I hadn't done that final check. When texting came along, I continued. I proofread every text I send, even to my kids, and even to make sure I have the correct texting shorthand.

The ability to proofread and edit is one of the many things I love about written words. If I only could do it before my mouth opens and I speak, the world would be far better place. So my advice about proofreading is you don't have to be obsessive like me, but when you are communicating in business or with anyone who has any control over your fate, don't skimp on proofreading.

-The Wordsy Woman