CHRISTMAS WORDS ALL YEAR LONG

My husband's and my favorite Christmas movie of all time has to be National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. The movie has a humorous premise that rings true; but what I laugh at the hardest are the words. We quote several parts of the movie the entire year. It's not just the words, though, but the delivery. Because even though we know it so well we could probably recite the entire movie, we still wait in anticipation for those favorite words to come up. And when they do, we laugh hysterically.

And here are our top five favorites:

Just after Cousin Eddie arrives and Clark says, "I couldn't be more surprised if I woke up tomorrow with my head sewed to the carpet."

After Clark crashes into the Walmart, Eddie points and says, "Bingo!"

We crack up at that whole sequence where Clark says if anyone is looking for any last minute Christmas gifts to get him, they could bring his boss so he can "tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is!" but what we quote all year is "Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"

After the  big blow up and the grandparents are getting ready to leave and Clark says, "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f#@%ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."

And, finally, my personal favorite is when Clark says, "Look around you, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!"

Happy Holidays!
From The Wordsy Woman