HOW I WRITE ... IN MY JOURNAL

"December 31, 1984

     Today is New Year's Eve. I still want to go with Jim Jones (not his real name). I've never really liked anybody like I like him. I am going to start a diet tomorrow. I want to lose from 10-20 pounds, at least 10 lbs.
     ...

     My grandma just left for the evening. Tonight (Monday) we get to have snacks and kiddie cocktails. I go with my dad January 5, 1984. It is the first time since August, 1984. On January 5, we get to celebrate Christmas [with] our dad. Bye for now and Happy New Year. Bye for 1984. Talk to you in 1985."


This an excerpt from my very first journal entry in the journal in the picture which I bought on the stocking stuffer clearance rack at Target. I was 11. I still have it and every journal I've had since then, including those in plain spiral notebooks and those I was "forced" to keep by inspiring teachers. I've read through them at times over the years. They tell me not only what was going on in my life at the time but how I felt about what was going on, and it told me more than I can explain about who I am and how I became this way.

As you might imagine, my early journals talked about what was happening at school and who I crushed on. As I got older, I talked more about my feelings and just practiced writing poems, story snippets, and images. In my high school and college days, my journals are full of expressions about how I was meant to become a writer, that writing was my passion, and how it was what I was destined to do. I guess I forgot about that as I got my community and regional planning degree, got married, had kids, and became a paralegal. I didn't forget it all at once, though; at first, I dismissed writing as a career in lieu of needed income and then it was gone. I still wrote in journals in starts and spurts throughout that time but I totally forgot how I thought writing was my fate. I found my way back, of course, about five years ago. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't abandoned it, but, ultimately, I think I needed those life experiences to be a writer.

How I write in my journal is simple: I am me, warts and all. I don't hold back. I strive to be completely honest, though sometimes I've avoided difficult subjects, because, when I write the words, the problem is real and I must deal with it. Today, my main journal is a turquoise blue 8 1/2 X 11 perfect bound journal with a place-keeping ribbon. I write everything in it, sometimes regularly and sometimes with weeks in between entries. I work out problems, sort out feelings, work through ides for my novel or articles, and write images or just words that pop into my head. This is where most of my poetry was born. I write in different colored pens and date my entries.

I believe writing in a journal is one of the healthiest, most rewarding things a person can do for himself or herself. Even if nothing comes out of it or you never re-read it, you will gain more peace, self-awareness, and mental well-being than you can imagine. I swear by it - and I've got the stacks to prove it.

-The Wordsy Woman